Ticks me off!

...and then life came and kicked my ass again.
A tick. Lone star tick. Little asshole. And all of the drama that comes with it.
Back pain.
Fever.
Worsening migraines.
Sweating.
Ugh.
Two positive blood tests and two weeks of doxycycline. Eff.
Everything I've read says ill need more antibiotics, likely a month or more.
I already have autoimmune issues, so this is scary as hell.
Fuck ticks. They're gross and scary. And now my back hurts as bad as my head.
Oh and as I mentioned before, I'm totally off of pain meds. Uggggggggh.

Taking control...

Six weeks ago, I was admitted to the hospital in the middle of a two week migraine with a heart rate of 170. Wowzers.
Since then I've kinda decided that I needed get some shit under control.
Life is hard. Down right shitty sometimes.
But you can't just let it knock you down. I mean you can. Or you can choose to kick it in the ass. And that's the choice I made.
How? Well...
1. Gave up caffeine
2. No alcohol (wasn't drinking much to begin with)
3. Less gluten, working on becoming gluten free
4. No pain meds at all
5. Current meds are topamax, verapamil, propranolol, cymbalta, buspar, aspirin everyday
6. As needed meds are phenergan, benedryl, zanaflex and naproxen
7. Essential oils for pain, nausea, calming, etc
8. PTSD and regular counseling
9. Art therapy

I think that's it. It's more than enough. Ugh. Most days I still feel like shit, but I've lost 13 pounds and my jeans fall straight off of my ass. Good news I suppose. I wish the weight would come off of the ol'  belly.
I've been trying really hard to at least get myself in a better place to deal with pain. That's 400% of my problem. It's like I get to a certain point of pain and I flip because I can no longer deal and I shut down.
So anyway.
That's all I got. It's been 6 weeks with 1 ER visit for a dislocated shoulder, not a migraine.
Woop.

Back to back...lean on me.

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on.
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

To my mouse...

There are a million things I want to say about this guy. And right now, the only word that just keeps repeating itself in everything I try and write is "amazing." 

It's true. Everything he does is amazing. I don't love that he makes a mess of the kitchen, and of course we fight, but in general...life with him makes sense and its amazing ;) 

So while I could keep writing about things he does or doesn't do, and all of the little things I love, or his many accomplishments in the last 28 years, I won't.

I'll end just by saying

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTOPHER 

I loves you!

Lions and Tigers and Elephants!!! Oh my!

I took Christopher to the circus last year for his birthday, his first time ever at age 27!
Not just any circus. Ringling Brothers you all. Greatest show on earth!!!

We had a great time, and probably were amazed and laughed more than most of the kiddos there! We ate our weight in cotton candy and junk food and wore funny hats and stayed up until 0330 because damnit, we are adults! Haha.

Anyway. When I saw that it was coming back to town near his birthday week again, I asked if he wanted to go. I didn't even really need to ask, I knew the answer :)
But he said, "we should bring Monkey."
Yeah!! He will love it. Hmm. Or he will scream the whole time. Hard to tell with a two year old. Yikes.
Thank bananas he loved it! He laughed and clapped and danced the whole time!! He flipped the eff out for elephants, and "cycles." The kid loves his motorcycles! Just like his Mom and Dad!!

Here are some crappy phone pics. Sorry so ass-tastic. The photos are already kinda blurry, and then I had to take a pic of them with my phone.
1. Just us, last year.
2. All 3, this year.
3. Monkey and I, this year :)

From a fellow spoonie...

Just having one of those days, and received this from a fellow spoonie.
Fit my day perfectly and gave me a little laugh so I thought I'd share.

Crazy Lucy faces...

My two idiots

Love these two idiots, really I do.

Painsomnia...

Painsomnia has been looming again here lately.
Combine chrinic every day migraine with chronic other auto immune craptastic etuff including joint pain, nerve type pain, etc...
and add in a tear in the rotator cuff and you get painsomnia.

Doctors ignore it. Hell, I try to ignore it.
But it's very real my friends.
Just thought I'd give that quick update.

And someone who doesn't ignore it, and is always good for a 2am chat...
Mr. Oskie Roo